Why do they always have to pop the question? Why can't they just wait a year or so? I told D about the others before, how they asked me and I wasn't interested in marriage. He waited a bit and hinted on it. "You don't want me to say it." I had told him a few things not to say; 'nothing' and 'never-mind'. I'm anal in that area. If you won't explain it, don't start. So he drove me up the wall and I made him say it. That's when he popped the question. Said he was commited since the day he saw me (he stalked me for almost a year). He wanted to get married ASAP. I on the other hand feel it a bit to soon.
I honestly think he's settling for me. I'm nowhere near good enough for him. I can not give him what he gives me. He's smarter than me. I know there's someone out there that would be much better for him. Unlike the other shits I've been with, I actually feel like I can do anything, as long as he is beside me...Thought about saying no and letting him go. But I cant bare to let him go. Makes me feel possessive...He's mine DAMNIT.
So, we talked about a non-marriage relationship. Everything except the ring. Kids and all. He was willing, however, marriage is a traditional thing to him and would make him feel better. Waited to see if his attitude would change toward me. It didn't. After a few debates, I decided on Oct. We told our families.
UG gave us his ring set, that he had bought a long time ago, from when he asked his special someone. He said, he would much rather me have it than anyone else.
Marriage will cause a few problems. It won't be easy. But I'm tired of holding out because: I'm not ready, I need to help my family, I'm not able to commit, I'll push them away, or someone else would be better suited. I'm sick of it and I am willing to go out on a limb and try now.
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