I can't think clearly anymore. Everything is so blurry...I'm naturally a bit down, however, since I was 6 months pregnant; it has gotten progressively worse... Let me try to collect my thoughts:
Shortly after Lil was born, I fell into the typical PPD stage (or so I though). My family noticed it 3 months before, but didn't say anything. DH was oblivious...My OBGYN told me I had PPD and they prescribed me some meds. Those didn't work, so they sent me to the crisis center. I was evaluated there and again told I had PPD and I should see my physician. My physician gave me a different prescription and had me back a month later. My second trip in, he re-evaluated me differently - then said, "I want you to get scanned for Bipolar." Hah, bite me...
Generally I blog my problems away, recently I haven't done that due to lack of time, focus and energy. So I did the only thing I could think of (short of killing myself)...
I sat in my car and turned my notebook into a mess of words. Scribbles in a vacant lot reveal I have many more issues than I though. Course it is only natural after all the changes in the past couple of years.
What I need and know I should; I can't do.
To much...
I just want to leave...I want to die. I'm scared of what will happen to DD if I do. I can't take her with me, but I can't leave her either. I don't trust anyone to take care of her. I can't take care of her by myself. I can't take care of myself as it is...
Shortly after Lil was born, I fell into the typical PPD stage (or so I though). My family noticed it 3 months before, but didn't say anything. DH was oblivious...My OBGYN told me I had PPD and they prescribed me some meds. Those didn't work, so they sent me to the crisis center. I was evaluated there and again told I had PPD and I should see my physician. My physician gave me a different prescription and had me back a month later. My second trip in, he re-evaluated me differently - then said, "I want you to get scanned for Bipolar." Hah, bite me...
Generally I blog my problems away, recently I haven't done that due to lack of time, focus and energy. So I did the only thing I could think of (short of killing myself)...
I sat in my car and turned my notebook into a mess of words. Scribbles in a vacant lot reveal I have many more issues than I though. Course it is only natural after all the changes in the past couple of years.
What I need and know I should; I can't do.
To much...
I just want to leave...I want to die. I'm scared of what will happen to DD if I do. I can't take her with me, but I can't leave her either. I don't trust anyone to take care of her. I can't take care of her by myself. I can't take care of myself as it is...
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